I sat on the toilet in our bathroom, holding onto my husband and drowning in sheer misery. This labor was too hard. I felt like I was about to die from pressure and pain. Or scream in frustration.
It wasn’t this difficult last time, was it? I’m sure it wasn’t. Nothing could be as horrible as what I was going through at that moment. Nothing.
I looked up countless times to tell my husband that we were having no more kids. No more! I’d say. I am finished doing this! But the words never made it past my lips. Instead I thought it to myself, drowning in pain and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. This was one experience I couldn’t escape. The baby was coming, whether I wanted her to or not.
Sometimes, staying pregnant seems like the easy way out.
~~~
Transition. As any mother who’s given birth sans intervention knows, this is arguably the most difficult part of labor. After hours of work – of contractions and no sleep – it strikes. Suddenly, you feel helpless. Contractions double up and barely pause between surges. Each can last two minutes, with barely 30 seconds of rest between. It’s impossible to get comfortable and becomes difficult to handle the intense pressure of the baby descending. Women get nauseous and have hot or cold flashes. They may start spitting, burping, or vomiting.
The worst part is the hormonal upheaval. A capable woman who was handling labor well will suddenly feel like she can’t do it. She may want the baby out right now, just to no longer experience labor. These feelings are due to a surge of adrenalin released into the brain that triggers our “fight or flight” response. Temporary fear, panic, nausea, and shaking are normal during transition.
But transition is actually a very good sign. This is what our bodies do immediately before pushing the baby out. The emotions and sensations tell us that our bodies are nearly ready for birth. It is during this short period of time that the cervix finishes dilating and the baby’s head begins pushing down into the vagina.
Although transition is difficult, it is also only lasts a relatively short period of time. Usually between 5 and 20 contractions occur. A woman’s partner or birth assistant can help her get through this difficult time by encouraging her, and reminding her to breathe deeply through each contraction. Some women find physical touch extremely comforting, some prefer not to be touched at all. No matter which type, no woman should be left alone during transition.
For anyone supporting a laboring woman, it is very good to know the signs of transition. Due to the “fight or flight” response, women may ask to go home if they are laboring in the hospital. This is also the time when many women will ask for an epidural or other labor drugs. We want something – anything – to stop labor pangs. Even if a woman has decided that she really wants to give birth naturally, she may ask for drugs or an epidural. I have to be careful here, but asking for a painkiller does not necessarily mean that she actually desires one. Some women ask in response to their sudden intense desire to escape labor, but would not want the drugs any other time. Now, if she keeps asking, then of course give her the painkillers, but also know that all the signs of fear and panic and a feeling of helplessness and an “I can’t do this anymore” mindset means that the baby is coming soon. A drug or sedative is not going to help for long, and will be a hindrance during pushing. Encouragement and support are extremely helpful at this time, and gentle reminders that she gets to meet her baby soon.
~~~
I wanted a c-section. Or to just go to the hospital for some serious drugs. Time lost meaning as I sank deeper into labor-land. Then the contractions paused briefly. I sat, relishing the break. Suddenly my body instinctively bore down in a push. I reached my hand down and felt hair on top of a tiny baby head!
A surge of renewed energy snapped through me as I made myself ready to meet my baby.
I appreciate your candid yet encouraging description of transition. So relatable! I’d like to highlight this post on my blog (http://awonderfulbirth.blogspot.com/).